Here’s a recap of everything you’ve been missing in the entertainment-sphere if you’ve been hiding under a rock-no judgment here.
Downton Abbey’s U.S. premiere of season 4 just wrapped. The furtive, longing glances were just as good as ever. I won’t reveal any spoilers but the important thing is that Mary has 50 suitors (just a bunch, no big deal) and poor Edith is still alone. #feelinlikeedith
This awards season is truly exciting, with fantastic, dynamic performances from the ones in 12 Years a Slave to American Hustle. Jennifer Lawrence is still supremely charming and my vote for girl crush-if only she actually ate as much as she professes to, then she would be perfect. Lupita Nyong’o is the most beautiful being that has ever appeared on this earth, on point with all her fashion choices. If they don’t make a Barbie or some sort of doll-replica of her soon I’ll be shocked. Matthew McConaughey’s random speeches add to the fun although they are slightly grating (here’s to hoping Leo takes the Oscar). “Alriiiiight, alriiiiight, alriiiiiiight.”
One award that Matthew McConaughey should win for his immense comeback? An Emmy. He is brilliant in HBO’s True Detective, a show with as intense and dark an ambiance as McConaughey’s character himself. Seriously, though, that Quaaludes scene alone makes Leonardo DiCaprio deserve the Oscar. His extreme difficulty going down the stairs reminded me a bit too much of myself after midterms. Can’t. Make. It. To. Dorm. Too. Defeated. If Pink does some of the acrobatic wonders she did at the Grammys I am going to cry tears of wonder and jealousy. As long as it’s not like that year Beyonce sang every single nominated song. I’m not sure Ellen DeGeneres (host this year of the Oscars) will push the envelope as much as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, though. Must I remind you of the now-classic lines: “’Gravity’ is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” And, of course: “”Like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”
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After the sad excuse for an Olympics I’m looking forward to the return of new episodes. Then I’ll finally be able to stop hating myself for watching The Bachelor’s Juan Pablo. Don’t judge man, it was between that and curling.
Like air hockey, but sadder?
An exciting book-to-film is coming out this summer! No, not Fifty Shades of Grey, I do have some dignity…it’s The Fault in Our Stars! Shailene Woodley plays Hazel (or as Augustus lovingly calls her, Hazel Grace)-proving that one can star in an incredibly banal show, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and still be a good actress.
Speaking of ABC Family shows, there is no shame here when I recap the latest on Pretty Little Liars. It’s the most tweeted about show, I’ll have you know. Basically, Ezra, the high school teacher, turns out to be just a regular creepster, not an evil genius creepster, which was incredibly disappointing and infuriating. He did provide possibly the best excuse of all time though (which I will be using as I write my final papers): “I was writing a true crime novel.” KThx.
Aria finds out what a bad writer Ezra really is.
If you’re actually looking for a smart show, may I recommend The Good Wife? With its spitfire writing, power-house acting, and complex turns it may be the smartest show on right now. That’s saying a lot, as TV is more like a stimulating lube tube right now for the mind, with provocative shows like Girls, Breaking Bad, and Homeland, than its previously condescending title.
If you’re looking for some cute/smart fun Parks and Recreation is still the most underrated quirk of a comedy gem. The Mindy Project is also back with a vengeance this season, funnier than ever with absurd shenanigans-including a sexting fiasco gone wrong.
So true, so true.
Finally, I would be remiss not to mention a couple of things that are guaranteed to brighten up any winter blues. I mean guaranteed. First off is The Lego Movie-one of the most clever and genuinely funny animated films in a long time. Second, I have two words for you: Broad City. My sister turned me on to this new show, full of the most awkward hilarity, basically an unpolished Girls. Perhaps the best episode so far is “Working Girls” when Abbi, one of the main characters, goes to retrieve a package for her apartment crush. The lengths that must be traveled-man we feel you (fake cough Student Services, just saying).
Alas, we come to the end…of my procrastination. Enjoy the Oscars tonight!