The Decline and Fall of the “Stanford Party Crew of 2011”

Posted by at 4:02PM

Breaking news! The Facebook group “The Stanford Party Crew of 2011” has wizened up under scrutiny, and not only is the message board down, but one has to request to join. Because your correspondent is fearful of getting rejected from such an elite group, that just might be the end of mocking that particular group.
But do not fear! Your correspondent is sure, certain, confident–that there will be many drunken freshmen at the first parties of the year, and many pleased Sigma Chis. Watch out, Class of 2010 girls. Your position is about to be usurped in the eyes of that red-faced “really nice guy” in the pink polo holding the red cup. Class of 2010 boys, however, should take heart. You might actually have a chance with a girl that doesn’t live in your freshman dorm.
Second item on the menu today is an ongoing feature over at Gawker: a vote for “America’s Most Annoying Liberal Arts College.” Stanford isn’t on the list, of course, as it isn’t a liberal arts college. Duh. We’re a research institution, a place where humanities majors feel oppressed, and to make themselves feel better, buy as many Moleskines as they can find.
Your correspondent is personally surprised that Reed only received 4.4% of the vote. At a University of Chicago (that notoriously free-market institution) information session, the speaker made a crack about Reed burning SUV’s in the main quad. It’s still unclear whether it actually happened or not.
This correspondent is left wishing that the contest was instead “Most Annoying University.” This would be most interesting. Who would make the list? Who would win? The self-righteous pricks from Harvard? The preppy douches from Princeton? They’ve managed to establish their own colony at Stanford–Sigma Nu. The angsty trendsters at Yale? Or should we look lower down in the rankings–the people who chose a good football team, and as a result, live in Indiana? That would be Notre Dame.
Third, and finally, your correspondent is pleased to report that the ASSU party on Saturday WAS NOT A DISASTER. Surprising, isn’t it, considering the ASSU’s track record of Mausoleum, FMOTQ, and this year’s Senate?
But how on earth did the party actually go off successfully? There are a few reasons:
(1) One needed a “college ID” to get in, meaning that most high school students here for a summer program could have gotten in. Strike one for sketchy.
(2) Everyone pregamed so extensively that most people walked in completely sloshed.
(3) There honestly wasn’t anything else to do.
(4) Everyone had already inhaled the last HP book in one go.
That’s all for this period of time’s installment. Your summer-at-Stanford correspondent, over-and-out.

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3 Responses to “The Decline and Fall of the “Stanford Party Crew of 2011””

  1. K says:

    You guys were double-scooped by stanfordotr.com — they covered the Stanford Party Crew two weeks before you or Ivygate got your hands on it. Check out these awesome stories:
    http://www.otrblogs.com/stanford_university/his_first_boygirl_party_355
    http://www.otrblogs.com/stanford_university/not_all_idiots_celebrate_the_4th_by_firecrackering_off_their_genitalia_689

  2. GawkerStanford says:

    I don’t think “scooping” an inane freshman Facebook group is worth not one, but two, comments about it.
    But that’s just me.

  3. K says:

    Of course stories on the same type of inane facebook group are worth stories on Ivygate, Gawker and two stories on the Unofficial Stanford Blog — including one that just says the group has gone private. I think anyone interested enough in the group to read this article might also appreciate seeing the story covered by another campus soft-news source.

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