TUSGraph: Circle of Death

Posted by at 8:13PM

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If you haven’t been in an accident in the circle of death, you will. Luckily, TUSB is here to help you learn the (lack of) rules of the road.
1) As you can see, in section ‘A’ anarchy takes hold: make up your own rules. Ride through the middle, do a wheelie while going counterclockwise, do whatever you want. This works perfectly, until you get more than a few people making up their own rules. As soon as you get an athlete going 50 mph clockwise and a freshman on a cruiser bike going counterclockwise, the death rate rises at an astonishing rate.


2) Eventually, societal pressure sets in, in section ‘B’. As soon as there are more than 5 students in the circle of death, riders tend to get scared and default to what the official rule is: go counterclockwise and yield to people already in the circle. This helps decrease the death rate slowly, even as more bikes enter the circle.
3) Now, it’s 11:00, and we’ve hit mayhem in section ‘C’. The scent of bicycle death is in the air. The official rules only work up to a certain population of bikes, and that population was long surpassed. The best strategy here is to avoid the intersection completely, or just do what everyone else does and pretend all other bikers are bowling pins and see what kind of score you can get as you trace out 90, 180, or 270 degrees. If you’re tracing out 360, you’re doing something wrong.
I’d say the cardinal rule of the circle of death is that if you see someone fall, just assume they’re shouting “Leave me and save yourself!”

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