Need Somebody to Love?

Posted by at 10:39PM

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It’s that time of year again. For those of you lost in the stacks of green studying for midterms or blissfully unaware of the obvious, Valentine’s Day is almost here–Sunday Feb.14 to be exact. However, for those of us who lack that special someone to share a late night cookie with, this “holiday” is better known as Single Awareness Day.
But wait, could there be a solution to this distressing problem? A way for the huddle masses of lonely people to find someone they too can call their Valentine? The ASSU believes they have answer. As a service to all the singles out there, the ASSU has put together a Valentine’s Day matchmaker, an easy way to find love without actually having to look for it yourself. To make things simple, they give two options:
1) Type in the SUID of up to three of your crushes (if your facebook stalking skills are advanced enough, this should be no problem), but if not, then you can search the StanfordWho and find it there. Then, they’ll look to see if there’s match between you and your crush.
2) Fill out a quick survey with deep personal(the more fun way, in my opinion), questions like “what you like to do on rainy days”, or “what’s your favorite color.” Then the genius cupids of the ASSU will pair your (potential) soul mate.
Even if the excitement of going out on a blind-date with some random person you’ve never met isn’t enough to get you to try out the matchmaking service, then do it for the coupons. Every couple gets a coupon to the CoHo, the Dish or another local eating place. Matches meet at Stern Late-Nite, and then they can party the night away with their date to live music, food and fun. To participate, you need to fill out the survey on before the Thursday, Feb 11. Or else you have the find your V-Day date the old fashioned way–begging your roommate to hook you with anyone good-looking but as desperate as you are.
As ridiculous as this may sound, you can’t blame the ASSU for doing its best to combat the myth “No one dates at Stanford.” It’s a well-known that 70% of Stanford alumni marry other fellow Cardinals, so they had to have met somewhere. Who knows, maybe the love of your life will be waiting for you at Stern. At the very least, you can get a discounted meal, a good story and another reason to want to overthrow all forms of government.
So if you find yourself tired of looking for love in all the wrong places (the Rains and Meyer library are two wonderful examples), then let someone else do the work. The ASSU is waiting.

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One Response to “Need Somebody to Love?”

  1. Henry Jacob says:

    Great matchmaker advice if u ask me. Like you said that second option of surveying of personal questions is really fun to do.

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