Tiger Woods Will Emerge From Hiding Friday

Posted by at 7:36PM

800px-Tiger_Woods_drives_by_Allison.jpgTiger Woods will appear before a camera and address the public for the first time if you don’t count those sex rehab pics of him shooting death glares at cameras in Mississippi since his November car crash and subsequent revealing of his sexual escapades. It’s unclear what exactly Woods will discuss, (his timetable for return? apologizing to fans?) but he will joined by a group of friends, presumably his wife, and will not answers questions. Woods is also rumored to have prepared a statement which he will read at his presser. *FREEZE!* <—swizz beats voice.
A prepared statement? Now I love Tiger as much as anybody, but what is the point of making this public statement to a camera. Just put it up on your website like you did your last apology. You can’t just own a tiny piece of it and expect everyone to drop it. Tell your spinmeisters to let you take a couple questions, and don’t read from a script. What did Michael Vick do when he was coming back to the NFL? He owned it completely, gave an apology that wasn’t scripted, and even took a few questions afterwards.
Basically everything Tiger’s image consultants have decided can’t possibly work. After the initial protests, even those Peta degenerates finally decided to let bygones be bygones. I can’t wait to watch though. My money is on Tiger returning a week or two before the Masters. I should probably stop making Tiger Woods prop bets though, seeing as how I picked Kanye to come out of hiding before him. Oh well…

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