The 3rd Annual Unabridged List of Suggested Dorm Themes

Posted by at 11:52AM

Institutionalized punnery doesn’t get much better than Stanford’s annual dorm themes. But even the most pro-pun RAs can’t do it alone, and that’s where I step in to lend a friendly, possibly not-PC hand with my list of annual suggestions for themes for each dorm and house on campus.

This tradition started two years ago, when, as part of the student sketch comedy troupe, The Robber Barons, I spearheaded the creation of a list of fake dorm themes. That list is available here (on page 2), and that got such a positive response that I did it again last year here on TUSB.

Welcome to version 3! Special thanks to fellow blogger and Robber Baron Carlo for helping out with this year’s list. I will be graduating this year, and thus not doing this again, but hopefully Carlo as well as some others can come together to keep doing this crucial, crucial public service for the Stanford campus. Without further ado, the list of what I suggest should be the themes of Stanford residences next year:

Stern, home of Academy Award Winning-Dorms

All parties in Serra will end in a Bollywood dance number.

-THE LARKING’S SPEECH
-MILLION DONNER BABY
-BURROKEBANK MOUNTAIN
-TITWAINIC
-ON THE ZAPATERFRONT
-SLUMDOG MILLIONSERRA

Wilbur

-OTER AND SPACE MUSEUM
-SOTO AND GOMORRAH
-CEDRIAN BRODY
-JRO MAGUIRE
-ARROYO LA TENGO
-TRANCOS (0) = 1
-HOSNI MUBARINC
-MUAMMAR OKADAFFI (Manages to make MubaRinc look like a nice guy)

FloMo, home of musically-inclined dorms

Watch this now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvrzH93POBY

-GAVALANIS MORISSETTE (Jagged Little Dorm?)
-TAYLORO SWIFT
-CEE MIRLO GREEN
-THE ALONDRA PARSONS PROJECT
-SAVAGE CARDEN(AL)
-JEFFAISAN AIRPLANE
-PALOHMYGOD ITS JUSTIN BIEBER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Manz and Friends

-QUENTIN TOYONTINO
-LANTANY & CLEOPATRA
-KIMBALLWEED
-PASTA?ÑO
-BRANNARCHY (In keeping with the theme, the entire dorm staff has to quit during Fall quarter)
-FUR MIRIELEES
-CROTHIRD EYE BLIND* (‘nuff said)

West Campus/GovCo

-WEST LAG STORY
-NARANJA DISCOTECA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j25tkxg5Vws&feature=related)
-IN BRUJAMAA
-SUITES. PRAY. LOVE.
-FROSOKANYE WEST (I’m happy for you, and I’ma let you live there, but FroSoCo is by far the furthest dorm from anything of all time. Take that, TayLoro Swift!)
-POTTER POPS
-ROBINSIDE THE ACTOR’S STUDIO
-IRANIAN YOSTAGE CRISIS
-MURRAY GAGARIN
-ARREASTED DEVELOPMENT
-ANAL PROBLE (Ahh, freshmen!)

Row and Other Houses

Oh, the irony!

-JOHN COLUMBOEHNER
-MMMMBOB! (Hanson-themed, which means nobody will want to live there )
-MUWEKMODERN FAMILY
-ON THE STOREYGIN OF SPECIES (It’s Humbio, people. Come on.)
-XANA MONTANA
-MARRRRRRRRRGH!S (Pirates of the CarROWbean)
-CASALISEUM
-GROVER CLEVELAND
-BATHMATI RAATH
-KAI.R.S. (the income tax themed house)
-OH YOU FRANCEY, HUH? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH98ehnfDaA)
-PRINCIPAL SKYNNERGY (Unfortunately, there will be no boiled hams in this house #semiobscuresimpsonsreference)
-SIR PHI SIG NEWTON (also acceptable: Phig Newton, though that gives it an entirely different, more delicious meaning)
-NIKOLAI TESLAV
-HAUS MITT ROMNEY
-DURAND PAUL
-NC 717
-HUNG JERRY (Wherein a group of twelve randomly appointed citizens cannot agree upon how big Jerry’s genitals are)
-KOBEBF (pronounced KOHBE! bf.)
-GWARNIA (For more: Wikipedia)
-680 HAWKINS DANCE
-ZAP SMEAR
-CANADIAN BACONNERSKJOLD
-CHI THETA KYLIE MINOGUE
-IN UTERRO*
-1035 “KAPPA SIG” MAYFIELD

Thanks for reading! RAs, the ball is in your court…

*Update–forgot Terra and Crothers the first time. Sorry!

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10 Responses to “The 3rd Annual Unabridged List of Suggested Dorm Themes”

  1. lmao says:

    Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

  2. anonymous says:

    this is one of my favorite TUSB posts/series. I don’t understand why RA’s don’t just go by this list — they’re too great!

  3. anonymous says:

    It was really funny, until you left out Terra. :(

  4. anonymous says:

    wompsters

  5. Sasha says:

    J-Ro-becca Black. Just sayin’

  6. Josh says:

    whoops in re: Terra–I’ll add one in now!

  7. Morgan says:

    Yeaah, everyone forgets Roth. nbd.

  8. anonymous says:

    looks like crothers is missing too :(

  9. masaru says:

    nice job josh

  10. Josh says:

    Crothers added in. Roth is there already, though…

    Thanks for letting me know what I missed–tell me if there are any others!

    Josh

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