The End of Pirates (We Can Only Hope)

Posted by at 10:14PM

Enough Disney.  We know you like to rake in the money from Pirates of the Caribbean but no more of your sequels!  You’re up to the fourth one now with no end in sight and in talks for a fifth and sixth one next.  Somehow people still get sucked in, including this writer, I must admit sadly.  I saw the fourth one-Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides-so what?  I hoped for some sort of an ending for Captain Jack Sparrow but alas instead left the theater dissatisfied and with a headache.  There is really was nothing new, except for a lackluster Penelope Cruz who came off looking exhausted more than intrigued by Captain Jack.  Mermaids were the only new thing, and frankly the only interesting thing.  At least they kicked ass.  Disney supposedly wanted to keep the plot tightly under wraps until the release but they needn’t have bothered.  Old pirates who we thought were dead are still alive and reappear and basically everyone just wants to find the fountain of youth.  When they finally reach it, though, the fountain is pitiable and kind of sad.  Could they not have afforded at least a believable fountain of youth, one that didn’t look like the garden fountains they sell at Target?  Maybe they ran out of money by the time they had to film that scene.  All I can say is forget the plot being implausible (we know that-it is a fantasy after all), it made no sense whatsoever.  Please put us all out of our misery and end this string of what we call films.  Johnny Depp may still look good and be enjoying himself but most of us certainly aren’t.

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