FMOTQ 101: Pick-Up Puns

Posted by at 7:32PM

“The time has come, the Sophomore Class Cabinet said, to talk of many things.

Of PSETs and football and dormcest, of awkward hook-ups and flings.”

The Master (get it?!) of infidelity himself.

Welcome to October 22, 2013.  A day (or rather, night) that shall live on in infamy.  Known to some as Full Moon on the Quad and known to others as a “Moonlight Makeout” (…if it’s on SparkNotes, it must be legit?), FMOTQ is a Stanford tradition that has freshmen and seniors alike worrying about their dental hygiene.

So grab your mouth wash and your sparkliest spandex (for girls and guys alike), because it’s time to enjoy some food truck grub, watch student groups (Mendicants / Alliance / DV8) strut their stuff, swarm with the truly incomparable LSJUMB, and get down with DJ Lumo.

And, of course, kiss that special someone.  Or maybe multiple someones.

To help you find that sketchy grad student, innocent freshman, or subsequent box on your bingo chart, here are some Nerd Nation-appropriate puns to keep you in the game:

  • On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
  • I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
  • If I were an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
  • I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
  • It doesn’t take a genius to see how attractive you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.
  • Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE print.
  • I wish I were adenine because then I would be paired with U.
  • You know, it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force.
  • What’s your sine?  It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.

…and perhaps the most appropriate for our CS 106A, Silicon Valley-loving undergrads:

Hi, I’m writing a new make-out program.  Would you like to join the beta test?

Be sure to stay sober and keep it classy, though.  Nobody wants to see you come into your dorm like a wrecking ball.

Happy smooching,

TUSB

 

https://www.facebook.com/events/624251387598200/

PS – For more nerdy pick-up lines, click the hyperlinks.

Share

JOIN THE CONVERSATION - LEAVE A REPLY


Comments are moderated and will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive. Please do not be alarmed if your comment does not show up immediately. We will get it posted soon.