Author Archive - Darius R

As you know, LOST and 24 came to an end a little over a week ago.  And if you didn’t know, you need to go to Green and rent all the seasons of these shows and catch up.  I’ve been a huge fan of both these shows, and to have both of them come to an end in a span of 24 hours was a lot for me to take in.  (mildest of mild spoilers ahead, but you’ve been warned)

The question is…now what?  Well, we go through our five stages of grief.  You may have already gone through these, or be currently going through this, but I’m just here to help you understand the process.  I’ve been reading “the cut” lately, so this will be in the form of multiple lessons. Let’s begin.

Denial.

Don’t: Pretend it’s not over by clinging to the “But There’s a 24 Movie!” /”There’s a 20 minute epilogue on the LOST DVD!”  mentality.  Let’s be real.  The 24 movie probably won’t be here until 2012..if it happens. (Google the Arrested Development movie)  And the LOST epilogue isn’t going to answer any questions or make the ending involving the sideways story any different.  It’s only 12 minutes. 

Do: Buy yourself exactly 12 Mrs. Fields cookies, secretly eat them all, and feel better.

Anger. 

Don’t: Express your anger in the form of a character from your favorite show.  I don’t know how many times I’ve shouted “Dammit!” This past week, but it’s been way too many.  I recognize my behavior, and that’s the first step.

Don’t: Make Jack-faces. Chloe pouts are fine.

Do: Behave like a child. LOST and 24 only end once, so make it count.  I have a theory that  Chris Pronger was a fan of LOST or 24 & that’s why he stole the pucks after losing the first two games of the Stanley cup finals.  He wasn’t upset about losing the first two games, he wanted Kate and Sawyer to be together. 

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All those suckas that wrote Ye off can suck a pickle because Kanye is back!  “Power” will be bumping all memorial weekend long at every party so go download it right now.  Don’t believe me?  Maybe I need to turn on my KanYe caps and tell you that THE TIME FOR TAYLOR SWIFT IS OVER.  NOW WE CAN GET BACK TO LISTENING TO REAL MUSIC.  WEEZY MAY BE GONE BUT YEEZY WILL HOLD THINGS DOWN.  GO AHEAD AND LISTEN FOR YOURSELVES. UNTIL NEXT TIME, THANK YOU AND YOU’RE WELCOME!

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edit: Re-upped the video

A friend of mine came up to me today with a HUGE grin on his face and said “Darius guess what?” I threatened to torture him if he spoiled 24 or LOST for me, but he assured me it had nothing to do with that. Then he spilled the beans….Playboy is coming to Stanford. It’s for their annual “Girls of the Pac-10″ pictorial. Yes! I then had a ridiculously huge grin on my face. As I calmly reflected upon this revelation, I knew it was my duty to alert the women of Stanford that may be interested. So here’s the deal. They’re going to be here this Thursday and Friday conducting interviews. Go to the website. Click Stanford, fill out the forms, and I guess you’ll get contacted and then meet at a secret location. A friend of mine did it a fews years back, and she used a fake name to conceal her identity. I think all the ladies that are interested in sharing their bodies stories with the rest of the world should. All shame aside, ladies, this is your shot. Not only could you end up being a playmate, this could be your jumpstart to being one of the “Girls Next Door.” The issue will be available in October.

Well that was quick.  Just a couple days after coming off her last game for the Cardinal, Jayne Appel is officially a member of the San Antonio Silver Stars. Appel was drafted 5th last night, and will help tremendously in improving the league’s worst rebounding team.  Congrats Jayne!  We just wanted to give you a quick shout out at the blog! You can check the complete draft board here.

Photo used courtesy of wnba.com

As I’m sure you know, Tiger Woods made his comeback today at Augusta to compete in the first major of the season. The Masters first round coverage can be seen on ESPN right now, and 2nd round coverage will be also be televised by the worldwide leader in sports tomorrow. Tiger teed off at 10:42 PST and is currently 4 shots off the lead through 14 (-2). But I actually wanted to share Nike’s commercial that is intended to reintroduce Tiger to the world. It features his father’s voice, and what you might expect a father to say to his son after navigating a scandal. What do you think about it?

In case you’ve been going to classes and actually studying already, and thus have no idea what’s happening in the world of basketball…I got you…tonight the Stanford Women’s Basketball team takes on UConn and their disgustingly daunting 77 game win streak.  The game starts at 5:30 and will be televised on ESPN.  You can probably get it on ESPN360 too if you’re not by a TV.

We played them tough earlier this year, but unfortunately they were a little bit better on that night.  However, on this night, I’ve got a good feeling that “they are who we think they are!” Just remember, we only have to beat them once.  Tangent: I’ve also decided that the new theme song for the team is DJ Kahled’s “All I Do Is Win” Ft. T-Pain, Ludacris, and few others. (The song is dope at least listen thorough the first verse 1 min) Anyway, We can take it to them with a proverbial onside kick like Sean Peyton and do this!  And as Kevin Garnett put it “anything is possible!!!!!!!”

Don’t go burning your bracket (unless you picked Vandy or Georgetown win it all) but I feel good about this one. I’ve gotta admit though, I never thought this day would come. It’s pretty much common knowledge that the selection committee will never match a one with a 16 that can run with them. There’s just too much money on the line for that. Now I’m not gonna say that the Stanford women have anything to worry about, because lets face it, there are four teams that have a shot at that tourney. The rest are simply playing for the right to get rolled by a one seed. errrr, tough competitors that will face matchup problems in the later rounds. And make no mistake, I’m 100% confident that John Wall will John Wall Dance right into the final four. Ok Ladies and Gents, here we go, my upset special 2010 is Lane Kiffin!!!!!
Yup. USC’s head football coach is on the verge of making history. He is currently beating #1 seed Natalie Gulbis (pictured) in Esquire.com’s Sexiest Woman Alive contest. No doubt this has something to do with all those bent fans at Tennessee that still have an axe to grind after he left them, but there’s also no doubt this is awesome. No wonder lil wayne raps about this guy’s trash talking abilities. Imagine the kind of smack he’ll talk if he does the unthinkable and wins Sexiest Woman Alive! (“Do You Believe in Miracles?” ) I can think of some very sexy women…that are also alive…and he’s not in my top 9,462. *Note: He is however crushing Rosie (10,465,297) pretty much because the Donald made her untouchable with this classic blast.
I kinda hope he pulls it off though. Probably because I selfishly want to see the taunts/posters/band performances in his honor when USC comes into our crib next season. Unfortunately, I don’t see this one ending well for our Cinderella. He’s got a tall mountain to climb in an unenviable 8/9 Matchup of Danica Patrick or Erin Andrews so there’s that. Plus there’s got to be an emotional letdown after such a big victory. I mean, NOBODY gave him a chance at sexiest woman alive, and to embarrass the top seed, that’s legendary. He’d be walking right into a classic trap game. I can’t get caught up in the future though. I’m just gonna enjoy the moment and be glad I’ll finally be able to say that I lived to see a 16 beat a 1.
In case you’re wondering, my last Upset Special was R. Kelly over the Department of Justice. Nailed it!

Tiger Woods will appear before a camera and address the public for the first time if you don’t count those sex rehab pics of him shooting death glares at cameras in Mississippi since his November car crash and subsequent revealing of his sexual escapades. It’s unclear what exactly Woods will discuss, (his timetable for return? apologizing to fans?) but he will joined by a group of friends, presumably his wife, and will not answers questions. Woods is also rumored to have prepared a statement which he will read at his presser. *FREEZE!* <—swizz beats voice.
A prepared statement? Now I love Tiger as much as anybody, but what is the point of making this public statement to a camera. Just put it up on your website like you did your last apology. You can’t just own a tiny piece of it and expect everyone to drop it. Tell your spinmeisters to let you take a couple questions, and don’t read from a script. What did Michael Vick do when he was coming back to the NFL? He owned it completely, gave an apology that wasn’t scripted, and even took a few questions afterwards.
Basically everything Tiger’s image consultants have decided can’t possibly work. After the initial protests, even those Peta degenerates finally decided to let bygones be bygones. I can’t wait to watch though. My money is on Tiger returning a week or two before the Masters. I should probably stop making Tiger Woods prop bets though, seeing as how I picked Kanye to come out of hiding before him. Oh well…

You know what bugs me. Whenever I leave the library. Not Meyer. Not the Law Library. But Green Library. I hate it when they make you open up your bag like a little convict and show them all the stuff that’s inside. That bugs me. I get it. You don’t want people stealing things. But is this really the best way to go about it? I’m not gonna hate on the cool library people, because some of them…you know, just open your bag, and let you go. But SOME people, they get all Ludacris with it and be like “what in the worldddd is in that bag WHat You Got in ThaT bAg!!” They really move your notebooks and try to look into the corners of your bag. But for what??? Books??? I always have books in my bag, and they always let me go. I guess I just hate it when the person is trying super hard to be a TUFFGUY. Listen, if you work at the library, YOU’RE NOT TUFF!

AND, if I did want to steal something I’d walk right out the front door like the fucking INSIDE MAN with books, mice, chairs, diamonds, CD-ROMS, you name it. True story: I decided to test this theory at Green the other day. So as I was approaching the desk, I took everything out of my backpack…EVERYTHING and wrapped it in my jacket. I then opened my book bag to reveal nothing inside. The guy looked at my bulging jacket, but couldn’t say anything. He looked so confused too, like he was an agent, and I was able to stop bullets and finally see the code of the library matrix. Seriously though, how wack are those bag checks? Especially when there’s a line. It’s the worst.

In case you haven’t heard, Sigourney Weaver is hosting the only NBC late night show that hasn’t been in the news lately. Yup, Saturday Night Live will feature the ’72 grad along with musical guest The Ting Tings this Saturday the 16th. Surprisingly, this is just her second time hosting SNL (’86) No worries about the long layoff, she’s still got some comedic chops. Baby Mama anyone? But Look, somebody needs to say it, so I’m just gonna say it…for a 60 year old woman. She’s fine. Don’t act like you didn’t see her lookin good in Avatar! Be sure to set your DVR’s (or just check Hulu on Sunday) because I’m fairly certain no one will be watching it live.
Here are the NBC midweek promos:

Yup, you can catch us on twitter now. (twitter.com/stanfordblog) So if you aren’t on twitter yet, you should be!
Tangent: I was thinking about what could have improved Toby’s chances of winning the Heisman, and I found this. If Toby makes this video, he wins the Heisman….easy.

Well it appears that Pete Carroll has finally decided to bolt for the NFL once again. Hopefully it goes a little better than his last 34-34 stint. Here’s the thing. Why now? Pete had much better opportunities in the past, but chose to stay at USC because he was winning back-to-back titles riding the Matt Leinart’s and Reggie Bush’s of the world to glory. Hell, he was a rockstar. The Trojans are LA’s pro football team. Also, in college it’s all about the coach. You can do whatever the hell you want as long as you win. The coach calls the shots and can lock you in a closet if he feels like it. In the NFL, you have diva receivers, and the players can get coaches fired. I mean, it’s understandable, when you’ve got 40 mill tied up in a player and 3 mill in a coach, you’re going to make your player happy. What concerns me though is that the dictator role in the NFL hasn’t meshed too well with the twittering players of today. So Pete lost a lot of talent, but the man is a legendary recruiter, so you rebuild right? I guess not. Pete bolted at the first sign of adversity. He got out after the first sign that he might have an admirable rival. I’m not gonna say he’s a punk, but that’s certainly a punk move. Even if your ship is sinking, you gotta go down with it. It’s pretty much over at USC, the writing was on the wall after the double Nickel Toby and co laid on them, which as Charlie’s graph points out, happens to be the most points they’ve given up ever. Add that to the fact that it happened on their homecoming, AND Harbaugh talked shit beforehand (and backed it up unlike Lane Kiffin) AND did them in their crib TWICE. There’s no upside to staying. If he loses to anyone, much less Stanford they’re probably calling for his head. It’s this “what have you done for me lately” era. Unfortunately for Pete, his move comes at a time when coaches have to win right away in the NFL as well. So if he thought he was going to get some time to get comfy and build, he’s wrong. It’ll be tough to do in Seattle with no offensive line, no running back, and an aging quarterback. So good luck Pete, but just understand. Jim Harbaugh will be in the NFL at some point, so you can run, but you can’t hide….

Look, I’m just gonna say it…TIGER WOODS IS INNOCENT YALL! I don’t believe any of the rumors. But for the sake of argument we’ll assume it’s all true.
Ok, so maybe Tiger slipped. Maybe he slipped a lot. But all I’m sayin is, I got Tiger’s back. Because you KNOW, he ‘s got a grudge and he never forgets. I just hope my man used protection. I wonder if he’s R. Kelly style paying off certain chicks to keep quiet. I also wonder if he’s hooked up with chicks and then just had them deported. I will say this though: I called Rachel Uchitel being the hottest one.

Message: Stanford, we need to have this guy’s back. He’s one of ours. If I could personally deliver a message to Tiger I would tell him that we’ve all made mistakes, but ours just aren’t on sportscenter/nobody really cares. Go work things out with your wife, and if you don’t love her, leave her.
But the point of this is to deliver a message to the haters and hoes that have yet to come forward. FUCK YOU! Tiger Woods is a man. He’s the first athlete to make a BILLION dollars. Basically, this muthaf@#@#*&*@ is paid. Now, as college students (that are supported by parents) this may not make sense to everyone. But i’mma give it a shot anyway. Women LOVE MONEY! (i hear women getting upset, “but darius, we don’t love money”) Stop it! Flavor. of. Love………3! I rest my case.
So back to women loving money. Women also love things. And women want (not love, or like to) pay bills. So when they see a billionaire who’s buff as fuck, and famous!, they lose their shit and start firing booty left and right in an attempt to get money to buy things and pay bills. Blame songs like 50′s -have a baby by me baby, be a millionaire. Or blame Lil wayne for well, apparently never using a condom. And hold up,,,,why is tiger woods wife mad? She’s used to be just like them not too long ago. What’s a Swedish nanny doing talking to the world’s best golfer in the first place??? I’ll tell you what. TRICKIN HIS ASS INTO RELEASING HIS SEED, SO SHE COULD HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO MEALTICKETS CHILDREN! I’m not mad at you Elin. In fact, mad props, I SEE YOU ELIN!

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If I were him. I would have walked right out after that USC win. It couldn’t get any better. (well maybe not getting clowned by Cal in our stadium, but that’s nit picking) The man is unbeaten at the Coliseum! Think about that. They’re like 47-2 the past 8ish years. He went in there and dropped a Jordan-esque Double Nickel on Pete Carroll and walked away like it was nothing. I’m glad he’s apparently sticking around, although, I really don’t see why. There are plenty of jobs opening up in the NFL soon. Why not get out while people think you’re the savior? OR maybe he saw the man across the field, and all the success he’s had. And then thought, “wait a minute, Pete coached the Panthers way back in the day and they sucked. Maybe I should just keep my ass here at Stanford and try to bring tha ruckus to USC again next year.”

FACT: Lady GaGa‘s album The Fame Monster dropped today
FACT: I camped out to cop said Album at midnight.
FICTION: There were other black people there so it wasn’t weird or anything

Like T.I. once said, “it ain’t trick’n if you got.” Well I got it. So I’mma give it to ya’ll straight. No chaser. Fuck Taylor Swift! But we’ll get back to her a little bit later on.

Trick’n: You know for all the Halloween parties yesterday, I did not see one Lady GaGa. This upsets me. Lots of where the wild things are *SMH* snore….. Anyway, I love my girl to death, and I’ll be real, if she has a penis I’m fucked. Because I have been on her jock for a little over a year now. If I see a girl wearing this contraption at the Mausoleum Party tonight I’m going to wife her up!

Treat’n: Lil Wayne’s Mixtape officially came out yesterday. And I gotta say. It’s fire. Lil wayne is a master of wordplay, and honestly one of the most intelligent people around. At the grammy’s he performed a song dedicated to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, but that often gets overlooked. You should check out his interview with Katie Couric last year. If wayne weren’t seen by the mainstream media as a “thug” and often dismissed as just another black gangster rapper, he would be bigger than Kanye. trust. But back to this mixtape titled “No Ceilings.” (which btw, I only knew about it because it was trending on twitter) Weezy attacks beats from hit records of the past year ( Run This Town, Ice Cream Paint Job, D.O.A, and Break Up to name a few) and illustrates what makes him so special as an MC. Seriously, listen to track one, then listen to it again, and you’ll see that you missed half of the references he makes on the track. It’s def, a treat for you to check on this Holiday. Here’s a Weezy sample. (It’s a beat i’m pretty sure you’re familiar with, enjoy)

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