Archive for the ‘Campus Life’ Category

This post is in response to a Daily Californian blog, which can be read here. The opinions expressed in this article are not the opinions expressed by The Unofficial Stanford Blog, The Stanford Daily, or its writers. Oh man, have I always wanted to write that. Buckle up.

Dear Daily Californian,

Recently, you published a blog article (blarticle) entitled “No competition” which, in my humble opinion, went too far. The Stanford Daily has already issued a response, which can be read here, but I thought I would take advantage of this blog’s Unofficial-ness to say some words that the good people at the Daily are too nice to say.

I… I can’t look away. So horrifying, and yet… so beautiful. (Credit: Jasmine M.)

Originally, my article just had the words “get over it” and a detailed sketch of the Tree mooning a bear, but my editor said the text had to at least fill a whole line.

So I wrote more words:

While I’m as pleased as anyone that you’ve learned to proofread, and have access to a platform to show other people this new skill, this is the saddest and most asinine drivel that’s ever been mistaken for a blog. And that’s after I learned “Birds with Arms” exists.

I realize that this post was written in good fun, something with which to placate the ire of students and alumni after Stanford’s beatdown of Cal, but I implore you to keep it classy, or at least relevant. When you fault a young woman for what might have been a keystroke error (Although a score of 10-1, while unlikely, is certainly possible), or insult the readers of the Daily (which include professors, Nobel Laureates, and freshmen in Stern Dining) in one sweeping generalization, you are sucking on the dregs of the stupidest Stanford-Cal rivalry there is, or ever will be: proofreading.

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If you haven’t seen this already, or even if you have, take four minutes to celebrate today’s 21-3 triumph over the Golden Bears with some inspiring dance moves by a GSB flash mob of “Gangnam Style.” How they found a rainy day to tape this video is beyond me, but the content and choreography are worthy of the Cardinal brand.

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YouTube Direkt

So make sure you’re registered! This is my quick and dirty (non-partisan) plea for you to participate in the upcoming election.

The 2008 election featured the energetic participation of youth voters. Four years later, voter apathy is on the rise amongst us millennials. I did a lot of voter registration over the summer and one of the most frustrating things to hear from potential first-time voters was, “I’m not voting.” These individuals didn’t have some strong moral conviction against voting– they just didn’t want to take two minutes of their day to fill out a form. I asked one young man on a skateboard if he was registered and he actually said, “Meh,” and rolled on by. Meh. Like I was offering him leftover potato salad or a club flyer.

With less than three weeks until the election, some voter registration deadlines have already passed and the rest are coming up quickly. California’s deadline is October 22^ndand the last day to apply for a vote-by-mail ballot is October 30^th. If you’re voting as a California resident, you can register online! Voters from all states can check their registration status here. Remember that the presidential election isn’t the only thing at stake . Read up on your local races and learn what all those propositions are referring to.

So please don’t be that skater kid and “meh” me on this one. Check your registration status and get ready to cast your ballot.

Look- celebrities want you to do this too! And I’m sure David Cross would just blue himself if he knew you weren’t registered to vote.

• 

  “And you’re co-terming? Eeeexcellent! We wants it, my precioussss.”

  company representatives walking around in the crowd, whispering, “CS… we want you…” looking for CS majors like drug dealers while panting in their pantsuits.

• free T-shirts everywhere you go.  You can fill an entire wardrobe just at the Career Fair.
• lots of startups whose names abused the English language that couldn’t explain what they did
• massive line for Microsoft
• free wine-tasting trips to Napa as the top freebie
• General Motors handing out Detroit chocolate to convince you Detroit is a nice place
• Palantir’s orange earbuds
• Wait, there’s a CS career fair tomorrow?  So what was today?
• Business casual is masochistic.
• SpaceX was the most popular table.  Don’t understand why?  Sheesh, it’s not like it’s rocket science.
• McKinsey had a table despite having resume drop before the career fair.
• Seniors suffered peer pressure to go to the fair.  EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT, MAN.
• Nobody knows what consulting is.
• Applications to Stanford grad schools sharply increasing.
• Abundant coughing after FMOTQ.

A recent report by the University’s Department of Public Safety tells two stories, one of progress and another of lingering concerns.

On one hand, Stanford’s cops have made major gains in reducing crime across a swath of categories, including burglaries, liquor law arrests, and drug violations. On the other, 12 students suffered forcible sexual assaults last year, and bike theft remains a major problem on campus.

Bike theft remains a major problem on campus. Column 1 refers to year, column 2 to student residences, column 3 to on-campus, column 4 to non-campus, and column 6 to total thefts. According to the footnote, statistics on bike theft are being voluntarily tracked by Stanford University as of 2009.

Always an option if you are really running late to class.

In fairness, bike theft is extremely difficult to prevent, given the size of our campus and the number of places where such incidents could occur. However, these numbers are completely unacceptable. With all of the resources at this university’s disposal, no Stanford student should have to fear for their safety or for the theft of often-expensive property.

In addition, the Office of Alcohol Policy and Education (OAPE) saw 72 students last year, 59 of whom were underage. The most common referral to OAPE is for intoxication. These incidents are disciplinary actions, and there was a slight uptick from 52 students in 2010 and 61 in 2009. Data on DUIs were not available in the report.

Another interesting tidbit in the report revealed the causes of fires in the past three years. These included a water heater fire, a trash fire, a box of T-shirts left on the stove (Storey), and burning books and paper (FloMo). I’m guessing the frequent popcorn-induced fire alarms were not included in the report; otherwise, they would require their own special section.

Finally, the report provided some useful information that I had never encountered before:

• Apparently, there is a Freshman Emergency Ride Home Program that, according to the report, “provides taxi service back to campus for freshmen who are caught without a ride or are in an emergency situation (within eight miles of campus). Freshmen must pre-register at: http://transportation.stanford.edu/erh, using Yellow Cab of Palo Alto, account # 300-350. For more information, call (650) 321-1234 or (888) 512-1234.” Freshmen get up to four free rides…probably beats waiting for 5-Sure.
• 

  Those Cal fans can get a bit rowdy….

  The Department for Public Safety teaches a 1-unit Community Police Academy class in winter quarter (LAWGEN 209Q) that, among other things, includes pursuit practice in the driving simulators at The Police Academy in San Jose.

• Public Safety offers free threat or vulnerability assessments of any building, lab, or facility on campus. The assessment entails a walk-through of the building by their personnel with the building or facility manager. For anyone worried about fire hazards, these are your people to call.

Criticisms aside, Public Safety has unquestionably been working hard. Last year, their Records Division took 185 police reports, assisted 9,281 people over the phone, and helped more than 3,354 walk-in customers. A renewed focus on bike theft and forcible sexual assault would go a long way to ensuring that this campus is as safe as it can be.

    Summer is coming to a close once again, and fall is making a comeback… and it’s bringing more than earthy tones and a new set of trends with it. It’s also the host of a new batch of freshmen, the Class of 2016.

    Although not yet on campus, Sixteen has already managed to become a topic of conversation and a subject of memes in the Stanford community. “Why?” you may ask. Well, it goes without saying that this class is bringing in world-class minds and athletes alike… but doesn’t every class? A freshman class filled with awesome people that you can’t help but talk about is the usual at Stanford. We know current students love nothing more than a surge of ohmigod-I-can’t-believe-I’m-here freshmen, right? I mean, aren’t we cute? (maybe don’t answer that…)

   So, in addition to the usual, super-legitimate reasons, Sixteen has managed to build a reputation through its online presence… gotta love the digital age! Between the Confessions from Stanford ordeal and the level of activity on The Official Stanford Class of 2016 Facebook group, Sixteen has gotten people talking… but it’s more than just the class itself that’s caused a stir, it’s also the changes coming in with us. For example, our Three Books aren’t books. We have a documentary, an app suite, and one book… which is about a metalhead growing up in rural South Dakota. Without three books, is it still true to the Three Books program? People have a whole scope of opinions about that, as you can see by perusing this article from The Daily: “Choice for Three Books Disappointing”.

    For those of you who haven’t had the opportunity to hear/talk about these things, I’ll give you a quick summary. Confessions from Stanford is a blog started by Amelia Brooks ’16. She started off using the blog to write about her journey, as an applicant, to Stanford and to give advice to prospective applicants. Then, seeking a variety of voices, she turned to her fellow Sixteen-ers and asked others to post as well, and post they did. The larger Stanford community caught wind of the blog, and before you could say “we love freshmen” there were words like “presumptuous” and “ridiculous” being thrown around. People were aghast that rising freshmen would have the gall to write about Stanford before they even got there, as expressed by StanfordGirlProblems.

This is what the blog looks like, although I wasn’t able to capture the disclaimer in this picture.

A lot of the ill-feelings that sprung up are undoubtedly related to the blog’s title. The “from” implies that it is coming from Stanford, which it wasn’t because the bloggers were obviously not yet at The Farm. You can’t help but wonder if this is an arbitrary matter being blown up out of proportion… I mean one has to concede that “Confessions from Stanford” is a lot catchier than “Confessions from Where I Live Which Will Eventually Be Stanford.” However, examination of the blog shows that it has a disclaimer, which shows that things have obviously been carefully thought out. Was this questionable choice on the name just a poor oversight? Will things be different once the bloggers are on campus? We’ll have to wait and find out.

   However, in the spirit of objectivity, there are some points that need to be made. First, the blog was not giving any kind of advice about being at Stanford, it talked about getting there and aimed to convey the experience of making the transition to life as a Stanford student. Second, although some find it presumptuous that the authors wrote about admissions, it is worth remembering that as undergrads, we’re all only admitted once. Whether it happened two or ten years ago, it is a singular experience that remains unchanged as time passes, as does one’s level of knowledge about what really happens in the admissions office and about why some admissions angel chose them… but I’ll let you form your own opinions. Yes, some of the posts can come off as a tad presumptuous, so get the info you need to shape your opinions by checking out the Confessions from Stanford blog and enjoy this bit of info straight from the source: The Daily will be interviewing Confessions from Stanford founder Amelia Brooks herself.

   As for the Class of 2016 Facebook group, all you really need to know is that it’s always buzzing with activity. In fact, the Word Association thread boasts nearly 23,000 comments.

(I apologize that it’s in Spanish)

This may seem obscene to you, but Sixteen can’t help it, we’re pumped for Stanford and can’t wait ‘til NSO! We’re “NSo excited!”

Since I’m working abroad this summer, it’s always nice to get updates from the Farm.  However, I couldn’t help but facepalm upon opening up Gmail this evening to find not one, but FOUR emails from the Stanford Police regarding an escaped prisoner.  Sigh.  Now, I could take a jab or make a joke here, but I’d prefer to take it as an opening for some long-needed dialogue.

Stanford students, by and large, do not take the Stanford Police seriously, and this perception reduces the safety of Stanford students.

The Stereotype

It’s pretty easy to understand why Stanford students are disillusioned.  Stanford is lucky to have a very low crime rate, so university-wide alerts are rare.  What this means for our police is that every alert is read with scrutiny.  Thus, when 3 of only a handful of alerts per year warn us about “hot prowls” and Indian men smelling of apples, there’s ample cause for skepticism.

It also troubles me personally that I get duplicates of every notification.  This suggests a lack of robustness in their alert system, which makes me feel like I’m getting the message intended for some hapless student stranded in the physics basement.  From a nerd’s standpoint, it’s also upsetting that whoever is coding AlertSU is probably using an inferior Container class when really they should have used a Set to avoid duplication… but I digress.

The fact of the matter is that, from an absolute standpoint, the Stanford Police actually keeps us very safe.  After all, the greatest danger to a Stanford student is, unfortunately, the Stanford student.

Saving Us from Ourselves

If you're dressed like this, you've probably exited the realm of making good choices.

The main reason it bugs me when people don’t respect the Stanford Police is that they then extend this to everything the police stand for.  Bike lights.  Stopping at stop signs.  Responsible drinking.  I know I probably sound like a nag here, but I’ve had too many friends come home bleeding after dark from some failed combination of the three.

I’m also frankly pleased with the strong presence of the police at busy on-campus events like Exotic Erotic.  While I hope that my friends and I will never need their help, it’s always comforting knowing that those students who do push their limits will have trained professionals taking care of them right away.  So if treating those saviors for sloshed students with respect is gonna cost me the few seconds of stopping at a stop sign, so be it.

I want Stanford students to have greater cause for confidence in our police, because I think that once we believe in their authority, we’ll also have greater cause to watch out for one another.

Constructive Steps

Rebel wannabes: slow your roll.

If it is, indeed, a numbers game, then the Stanford police should notify students of all their successes to balance out their foibles.  But everyone knows that the moment you become that spammer guy on the dorm chatlist, nobody takes you seriously again.  (Seriously, dude, stop trying to sell me your psych books.)  So that’s out.

However, one thing that could really help would be to start from the bottom up with education on what our police actually does.  New Student Orientation has plenty of time for in-dorm instruction, and considering recent dorms’ great success in promoting safety among their residents (I’m looking at you, Larkin ’11-’12), I think a fifteen minute spiel on What the Stanford Police Do For You could do wonders.

We, the students, also aren’t exempt from some scrutiny.  To those of you who don’t use bike lights: um, seriously?  They cost max $10, and they’re free at NSO.  Man up.  Additionally, unless you are James Dean or Steve McQueen, I think you can afford to take a few seconds to pause at a stop sign.

Big Picture

Hot prowls and all, the police are there to help you.  So the next time you see a Stanford officer, treat the situation with respect.

Unless he smells like apples.  In which case, RUN.

A couple days ago, I decided to break the time-honored tradition of napping until 9pm and actually spent my afternoon outside. I walked to The Claw and sat. Just sat and observed. And I sat on that stone bench for almost three hours, as sunlight, water mist, and teenage pheromones bathed my skin. Here are a few observations I made during that time:

10. There are a lot of BMX riders on campus

Things needed to do this: 1. helmet 2. shin guards 3. severe disregard for gravity

Does Stanford attract more thrill-seeking cyclists during the summer, or are they more visible because there are fewer people on campus? I saw a least 4 different BMXers pass through my perch outside the bookstore. Gnarly.

9. People run

This is nothing new; Stanford students can jog year-round, thanks to almost-perpetual sunshine and ample trails. But I’m not just talking about the running club (which I was inadvertently part of, as they apparently meet near where I was sitting), but random people. In jeans. One was running to the post office, ostensibly to mail a package before it closed. Another because–I’m not sure. It looked like he suddenly realized he could get places in less time by simply moving his legs faster. If time is money, and running saves time, then these people were coupons still ridiculous-looking.

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It is my first real week of summer.  And yes, I am already bored.  My general routine for curing boredom involves 1) indulging in crappy TV 2) attempting to repair my sleep debt (impossible) and 3) keeping up with my sports teams like no one’s business.  Being that I’m not emotionally invested in basketball (read: I’ll-watch-it-but-eh), that leaves me Giant’s baseball and my football teams, the Niners and of course our Stanford football team.

Amidst my avid googling, I came across this SF Chronicle article.  It notes that our first football game of the season (at home v. San Jose State) has been moved from Saturday, Sept. 1st to the night before at 7pm.  That is right, ladies and gents, we will have a Friday season opener.  While this may not be that significant in and of itself, I think it gives us Stanford fans something to think about.

While Friday home opener is a little disappointing, the change itself is not the most significant part of the story, especially since not many students will be able to attend anyway (you can count me there).  It leaves me to question, how many more times/dates will be switched on us to satisfy the PAC-12 Network?  Looking at other team’s schedules, we aren’t the only ones to have Friday night games (which I’m not that opposed to. High school anyone?), but some teams even have Thursday games scheduled.

With late Thursday classes and sections, I wonder, if we do have a home game yanked to a Thursday, how many people will we lose?  How many season ticket holders won’t go because of work early the next morning? How many students will have a mandatory attendance section?

Our home game schedule already sucks, as noted by Kabir earlier this year (article here).  We have only three home games while school is in session.  USC happens before school starts.  Big Game was moved to… OCTOBER.  While I may be a tad (okay, REALLY) emotional about this since it will be my last football season as an undergrad, I still feel like any Stanford undergrad who attends home games probably feels like they got cheated…just a little bit.

The upswing to all of this, of course, is that every PAC-12 football game will be televised nation-wide, which is great for revenues and visibility and especially great for Stanford alums that live out of area.  This is an amazing perk and will be great for the conference and for our school.  I am personally hoping for a full season of hard-hitting football in which last year’s middling PAC-12 contenders really step up, and we give SEC fans something to think about.

Still is the weird schedule worth the perks?  I, for one, am on the fence.  Let me know what y’all think!

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In case your Facebook newsfeed isn’t already crawling with it, take a few minutes of your day to check out this beautiful video produced by Stanford students Garrett Gunther, BS ’11, MS ’12, Kris Cheng, BS ’11, MS ’12, & Dominique Yahyavi, BS ’11.

Congratulations on a great four years, Class of ’12.  To our almost-graduates and everyone else, may this video serve as inspiration for leaving your legacy – on the Farm, and beyond!

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vimeo Direkt

Original link here:  http://vimeo.com/43950969

As an RA this past year, I can tell you one thing: puns are hard. Coming up with a clever theme for your dorm is a lot of pressure, and can cause an unnecessary amount of stress (because heaven knows you won’t be stressed during the year). That’s where we at TUSB come in. Below, you’ll find perfectly useable themes for your dorm or house; upperclassmen, feel free to suggest them to your new house staff by emailing them nonstop and posting the themes you like on your houses’ Facebook groups. They really really like it when you do that. Trust me, I’m an RA.

This is the fourth iteration of the list (click to see the suggested themes from the first, second, and third), and the first without the guidance of the incomparable Josh Freedman, to whom I owe my career as a comedy writer (for the Robber Barons and TUSB), my ability to use WordPress, as well as my second-born child. Hope this lives up to your vision.

Special thanks to Jasmine Magbutay and the Robber Barons for your help and support; I cannot, in good conscience say that I thought up my personal favorite theme, and it makes me sad/so overwhelmingly joyful to admit that. Anyways, feel free to comment on your favorites, or suggest better themes for next year. Without further ado, here are the themes I am suggesting for the entire Stanford campus next year. RAs and house staff, let’s make this dream come true.

Arrillaga is so mainstream.

HipStern

LARKINSTAGRAM
SERRAMERICAN APPAREL
TWAINBLR
DONNIRONY
BURBAN(K) OUTFITTERS
ZAPATABLY NEVER HEARD OF IT…

Wilbur: Wilbur

SOTERO
OTERANCOS
TRANCSOTO
JUNIPERROYO
OKADARROYO
ARROYOTERO
CEDJRO
RINCOKADA

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Stanford's next Pandora?

Chances are if you’ve been listening to music online lately your browser has been stuck on Resonance. Created by current Stanford seniors Chris Seewald, Zach Weiner, Matthew Crowley, and Michael White, Resonance is as if Pandora and Youtube had an child that was raised by Spotify. Originally intended to reduce the time that it takes to find good music, Resonance allows users, focused around geographical areas, to add music to an online queue. Listeners can then rate the music their peers have uploaded and are provided with a stream of continuous songs that play alongside their respective YouTube video.

Co-Founder Chris Seewald claims that since their recent inception at Stanford they’ve had “several thousand visits from a couple thousand users.” More impressive however, is how much those users have taken to the site, as “users have added more than one thousand of their favorite songs.” In response to the positive feedback they’ve received from the Stanford campus they’ve decided to expand geographically, moving into Austin and Boulder due to the large student populations there and personal connections. While for the time being they’ll staying on college campuses, in the future they plan to expand into cities as well, with San Francisco and New York in their sights. Seewald is also excited for the potential of different playlists throughout the nation and thinks that there’ll  be “unique music taste differences across different regions,” which is a pretty cool concept when thinking about how say, Kansas City might compare to Seattle.

I will say that for my particular tastes the Stanford Resonance channel seems a bit too random at times, jumping from Bob Dylan to Skrillex. Also, a friend of mine who originally introduced me to the site said she liked the recommended songs more before Resonance started gaining popularity, claiming that the site took much more of a “dance-party” type of feel as more people started contributing. That being said, while listening to the site while typing this article I didn’t skip the majority of songs that came up.

There’s no doubt that Resonance is entering an extremely crowded market, but given this all-star team of co-founders (with full-time offers (correction: Chris’ offer from BCG is for a summer internship) from Apple, Square, and BCG) and their already growing base of users, they might just be on to something here. What do you guys think? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

“Theta Chi House is a fine example of the Spanish Eclectic style of architecture and the work of a master architect, Will G. Corlett” reads the history of Chi Theta Chi (XOX) conducted last year. XOX is more than fifty years old, and is thus considered a an historic property. This fact has played very little into the recent events surrounding the decision by Stanford to not renew XOX’s lease. The University cited health and safety code violations and a lapse in corporate status as reasons for not renewing the lease, while XOX countered with protests about community and independence. However, the House itself is key to the debate, superseding more philosophical questions. (more…)

Part one of a series detailing Stanford students and the awesome things we do outside of class

7:15AM on Sunday morning and my alarm sounds, piercing my post-Saturday night partying foggy consciousness. Detesting the idea of waking up at this godforsaken hour, I hit that glorious invention the snooze button and roll back into blissful nothingness. 5 minutes later my phone screams at me again, and an image flashes through my mind: I’m floating atop the water, the sun warming my face and the wind whipping through my hair. I’m drinking beer and laughing with friends. From the depths of my slumber, a slightly accented voice booms at me “Pull in the jib sheet Jesse, we’re tacking!” In a rush of excitement, I fly out of bed and begin searching for warm clothes, finally remembering why I got up this early on the day most college students never see the a.m. hours: it’s sailing time!

Stanford Senor & Skipper Dominik Pasalic

If you think I’m nuts for giving up my one guaranteed morning of sloth to schlep all the way to Santa Cruz to battle the wind or lack there of, wait until you meet Stanford senior Dominik Pasalic, Croatian born and raised, and an ocean lover since day one. Despite his passion for the sea and fascination with all things maritime, it wasn’t until his mid teens that Dom took his first one week sailing class in his home country. “Learn how to sail an old Croatian sailboat,” he tells us, “and you’ll be able to sail any boat in the world!” he emphasizes as he points to the electronic controls on the modern 46 ft Beneteau sailboat that we’ve chartered (sail speak for rented) for the day from Pacific Yachting in Santa Cruz. (more…)