Excellent PhotoShopping? Really awkward memories? The world may never know.

Parents Weekend 2013 is upon us, and you know what that means… free food!

No, I kid, I kid*, it means that your parents may well be on campus, and if so they’ll be REALLY excited to see you, spend time with you, talk to you, hug you, dote on you, and otherwise keep you really, really busy… right in the midst of midterm season.  The timing, in a word, is inopportune.  Every year I gently remind my parents of how busy I am because I’m trying to make the most of my education.  Every year they not-so-gently remind me that they’re paying for that education.  Touché, parents.  Touché.

In the interest of keeping your parents happy while you keep your academic head above water, here’s a brief guide to parent-friendly resources and activities.

Stanford it up.

The Parents Weekend coordinators have put together a truly wondrous array of opportunities for your progenitors.  If you remember nothing else from this post

SHOW THEM THIS LINK.

There are classes, receptions, tours, and fairs galore.  The whole calendar can be found here.

Don’t let your dad be that guy.

Teach ‘em the lingo.

Stanford acronyms are really confusing to the uninitiated.  Help a brother… er, mother out and clarify the quirky verbiage that might otherwise lead them astray:

• Stanford Speak
• StanLang 101

Go off the beaten path

Here are some quirky ideas for the parents who’ve been there, done that, and want to try something new on their 2nd, 3rd, …, nth Parents Weekend:

• Cantor Arts Museum is one of the most underrated locations on campus, and The Thinker’s back!
• Your hipster parents visited Hoover Tower before it was cool?  No worries!  If they’re active, a nice alternative (with breathtaking views) is the Dish walk.  It takes about 1.5 hours to walk, so can be a nice breather (literally) between classroom-based activities.
• Sit in on an off-beat class.  There are lots of classes just for parents today, but Explore Courses has thousands.  One thing my parents like doing is visiting classes for what they majored in in college.  Also, courses like Psych 1 and CS 106A are both crowd-pleasers, and they’re both offered on Fridays!
• Make sure they don’t miss Memorial Church.  A lot of my friends still haven’t gone, and it’s by far my favorite spot on campus.
• Original student artwork is being showcased in the Cummings Art Building right now!  Check it out to support our budding artists.

*But seriously, work that free food angle.

Don’t make your parents fend for themselves while you’re in class.  Refer them to this list of on-campus eateries, or the full plethora of Stanford Dining’s offerings here.

When you’ve finally beasted the last midterm of the week, take advantage of Palo Alto’s diverse culinary fare!  Mom and Dad are lookin’ to treat (probably even your friends, so that they can start those criminal background checks), and there are lots of offerings.

I hope this is helpful, and happy Parents Weekend, everyone!

As a freshman at Stanford, I’ve been lucky to receive mentoring from all sorts of places: TBP, SBSE, GP2A, UAL, BioE…the list of acronyms goes on and on. Despite the diversity of my mentors, most of them have given similar advice relating to winter enrollment: ‘take extra classes during crummy-weather Winter so you can relax during sunshiny Spring’, or something along those lines
.

But after having a miserable Fall quarter, full of ridiculously hard classes for freshmen that aren’t offered at any other time (think Chemistry, CME, 7-freaking-unit ESF,) I came to the conclusion that taking even more classes during Winter Quarter would be madness.

So, I did something crazy. I ignored the advice that so many upperclassmen had given me and decided to take three easy classes in Winter quarter. And you know what?

THIS ROCKS!!

The truth is, stress can actually make you sick. Stanford’s weather during Winter Quarter isn’t actually that bad. So next time you’re considering enrolling for a 22-unit Winter Quarter…don’t. Chill out instead!

I should’ve known I wasn’t going to like The Master.  I cannot say I have loved all of Paul Thomas Anderson’s work, including There Will Be Blood.  Daniel Day-Lewis was excellent at yet another incredibly unlikable, unhinged character.

On the topic of unhinged and unlikable, enter The Master.  Joaquin Phoenix plays Freddie Quell, a troubled, destructive man dealing with the aftermath of returning after fighting in WWII.  Quell is also fighting against his own personal demons.  He is self-prescribing by drinking horrific alcoholic concoctions (paint-thinner in one).  All in all he’s in a bad place when he comes across Lancaster Dodd (played by Philip Seymour Hoffman), aka the “Master” of, let’s call it what it is, a cult.

It becomes hard to know what is real and what is not as Freddie imagines things that have not happened.  As there is no character evolution it is painful to watch Freddie and Dodd’s destructive behavior.  There is no one to root for.

Sure, there are complex questions about man and sexuality, and man versus animal.  Quell and Dodd seem to be two halves of a whole as Dodd recognizes in Quell.  It’s easy to wonder, is man truly that base?  It is interesting that Dodd claims that humans are not part of the animal kingdom yet he insists on there being a leader of men (in this case himself as the Master).

The performances are excellent and may even be recognized come awards season.  There was a definite void when Joaquin Phoenix was pretending he would never act again.  His intensity is finely matched by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams (who plays in my opinion the real Master here, Dodd’s quietly domineering wife).  Hoffman has mastered, no pun intended, this type of slick character who is not what he seems (expertly done in Doubt and even The Ides of March).  Adams is a fierce force onscreen.  Her sweet, doe-eyed look is a stark contrast to the strength and steel she brings to her characters.

I couldn’t help but want The Master to end.  After it all was done I couldn’t believe that was what we were left with, no redemption just a bunch of questions, confusion, and a headache.

It’s not Valentine’s day without Ryan Gosling.

In a gargantuan procrastination effort, I have scrolled through every single Stanford confession and constructed the following list of proposals:

#125: I get so angry when people are always hating on the richer people on campus. We’re in college, and as college students we’re put in an environment where money no longer defines your social status as much; we’re all students. It’s great whenever an individual has aspirations to make it big because of his/her background, but I just feel like money is something that is discussed about too much at this school. People should realize what’s really important and stop obsessing about money.

I feel you. Money is not what’s important, it’s all the other stuff that matters. Like, you know, your heart and soul and personality and face. There’s so much passion in this post; clearly you’ve thought a lot about this. Are you frustrated because you’re rich and you’re tired of getting crap about it? I love me a rich boy with heart. Holla.

#129: I am Mehran Sahami’s son. He doesn’t know.

I just want Mehran as my father-in-law, is that so bad?

#139: I hate when people criticize my major. I will major in whatever the f**k I want to. Get off my case.

A few weeks ago I told someone I’m considering majoring in Science, Technology and Society and they straight up said, “But, c’mon, you know that’s the cop-out major.” Then I punched him in the face. Try telling me what to major in now, b***h. Just kidding, I laughed awkwardly and said nothing. I should have though. Anyways. You and me? We should get coffee. Just kidding, I hate coffee. We can get hot chocolate though and talk about how ballin’ we’ll be in the future despite–no, because of–our unconventional majors.

And actually, #127: I want to be a high school teacher but people at Stanford have pressured me into thinking I have to do something “better,”, you should join us. In fact, we don’t even have to date. Let’s just sit around and talk about how the world does not actually revolve around engineers. Please. Continue reading “The People I Wo…”»

It might be the romantic in me talking, but I think it was fate that I learned about this gem the day before Valentine’s Day: StanfordUSeshes. Stanford may not have the greatest track record when it comes to dating but I never expected to see a Twitter account fully dedicated to kisses and the casual hook ups around campus.

Although the Twitter account has some cute captures like this:

@stanforduseshes gotta love a little sesh outside the treehouse twitter.com/PatrickSkov7/s…

— Patrick Skov (@PatrickSkov7) February 10, 2013

Continue reading “Stanford Love?…”»

Apparently, the Common App and Supplementary Essays aren’t enough these days.

One aspiring CS major, Alex Greene, decided to create an iPhone app as part of his Stanford App. Check it out here:

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So TUSB readers, what do you think?

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Personally, I think the app is a cute idea but not particularly noteworthy on content…also, it’s much better if you watch it on mute. Still, I give the kid kudos for thinking of a new way to express himself. Best of luck, Alex!

Whether you’re looking forward to tomorrow or dreading it, you’ll probably have a better Valentine’s Day than these folks.

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While our rain dances have yet to lure former blogger-in-chief Josh back from the real world, we occasionally see gems of his writing in the likes of humor website McSweeney’s and CNN.

Whether you’re overwhelmed with bloggy nostalgia, seeking amusing procrastination mechanisms, or quantitatively contemplating the meaning of Valentine’s Day, you can check out his recent articles below:

• It’s not you, it’s quantitative cost-benefit analysis.
• Allow me to evade that specific policy question with generalizations about America.
• Now that we’re married, it’s our male-pattern baldness.

It’s week 5, and Kid President is here to tell you how to be awesome. If you haven’t already seen his pep talk (or even if you have) check it out for words of wisdom before midterms:

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“Don’t be fancy, just get dancey.” (P!nk)
Or do both, at this year’s Viennese Ball!

I’m not sure what it is about February that makes campus so antsy.  The weather is a mercurial mix of rainy and beautiful, the absence of football season gives us no justifiable reason to scream loudly once a weekend, and the looming, candy-coated spectre of Valentine’s Day reminds us all too well of our romantic frustrations.  My normal approach is useless here.

But whether it’s midterms, project classes ramping up, or The Man that’s gettin’ you down, there’s no reason too small not to shake it out.  As the Daily editors remind you of the importance of free speech on campus, I implore you to heed the words of V from V for Vendetta that

a revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having”

It’s times like these that make a student body want to shake its collective groove thang.  Good thing the slew of upcoming events on campus is perfectly suited to fulfill that need.

Lunar New Year Festival – Saturday, February 9, 11:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m., White Plaza

• The Stanford Vietnamese Student Association is pulling together your favorite student performance groups to celebrate the New Year in style.  Watch, dance, and chow down while appreciating our talented fellow students.

It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing.

Stanford Dance Marathon – Saturday, February 9 – Sunday, February 10

• The infamous annual event unites students from across campus in the common goal of fighting AIDS.  And occasionally in the conga line.
• Whether you’re stickin’ it out for all 24 hours, boosting the energy as a moraler, or swinging by for some much-needed stress detox, enjoyment abounds in the form of glowsticks, pillowfights, sunrise yoga, and guest performances and dance lessons from dance groups on campus.   The best all-nighter you’ve ever spent.

Austria Fortnight – various events, February 9 – 20

• The annual Viennese Ball is preceded by two weeks of free dance lessons throughout campus.  Whether you’re starting from square one, brushing off your polished moves, or unabashedly seeking a last-minute valentine, these low-key practice sessions are a great way to meet new friends and get the wiggles out.
• No, not those Wiggles.  We like them.

Viennese Ball – Friday, February 22, 8 p.m. – 2 a.m., Palace Hotel SF

• Perhaps Stanford’s classiest affair of the year, Viennese Ball has brought classical dance and live music to Stanford students since 1978.  In its current form, Viennese features a choreographed waltz opening, tasty hor d’oeuvres, a fun photo booth, and swing and waltz rooms with live bands into the wee hours of the morning.
• Whether you’re a social dance pro or just learning, it’s a great way to meet new people, have fun with a partner, and enjoy live music in a luxurious setting.  Ticket sales open next week.

Whether you’re stressed, chill, or looking for a few hours to kill, consider joining Stanford’s rich culture of dance this winter quarter. Heck, even former Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh is gettin’ his groove on.

Alors on danse.

Between my past experience at career fairs as an underclassman and my more recent research into upcoming job fairs, I’ve been barraged by listings for computer scientists from companies of varying shapes, sizes and fields.  For all you humanities/social science majors, I have one piece of advice:  be prepared when a clothing retailer asks you if you have experience coding, and think of other ways to let your skills and value shine through.

*Please note, that this graph does not say that companies are only looking for computer scientists; it simply states that most companies come to Stanford to look for programmers in addition to other roles.

xkcd pretty much reads my mind

The transition to adulthood is not a graceful one.

I recently turned twenty-two, and I realized I’ve outlived all of the “fun” birthdays.  To my fourth grade self, twenty-two years was an unfathomably long time.  So unfathomable, in fact, that I didn’t bother to keep going past 21 on my “life prediction” timeline for fourth grade English.  I beat my own estimate!  So I got that going for me, which is nice.

I guess the main thing that weirds me out about this age is the loaded expectation everyone seems to have for seniors of knowing what they want.  What they’re “doing.”  To me it’s almost comical.  For four years we’ve been encouraged to find and pursue myriad new passions in an intellectual powerhouse.  I followed the call with gusto, developed enthusiasm for obscure historical epochs, thoroughly embarrassed myself in broken German (you’ll wanna click that link), and fell in love, again and again, with the beauty and complexity of technology, from the fickle whims of the electron to the subtle elegance of synchronization variables.

And now you want me to choose.   Continue reading “Well, I guess t…”»

On Saturday night, Deadheads descended upon Mill Valley to see Furthur at Sweetwater Music Hall, an intimate venue that opened in January 2012.

Cardinal fans, a new music venue merits your attention.

On Saturday night, I headed up to Sweetwater Music Hall in Mill Valley to catch a concert with Furthur, the Grateful Dead spinoff band led by Bob Weir and Phil Lesh. I have been to several Furthur shows, and this was by far the best, rivaled only by Phil Lesh’s 70th birthday party a few years ago at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium.

If you could combine the intimacy of the CoHo, the coolness of Frost, and the food of The Mayfield Bakery, you would have something close to the Sweetwater experience. Then add a top-notch sound system and a beautiful setting at the base of Mt. Tamalpais, and include some of the friendliest staff I have ever encountered at a Bay Area concert venue, and you have more than enough reasons to make the hour and fifteen minute trip from Palo Alto.

Sweetwater has a capacity crowd of about 300 people, so no matter where you stand or sit, you have great sight-lines of the stage. The main bar is located at the back, preventing drink-seekers from getting in everyone else’s way. There is a cafe with delicious NorCal fare off to the side, and you don’t have to worry about the hassle of a coat-check…self-serve hangers do the trick.

Continue reading “The Sweetest Ve…”»

“Starbucks: It’s NOT Meyer”

I have a love-hate relationship with Starbucks. On the one hand, I downright refuse to use the term “Tall” to order the establishment’s smallest serving of coffee. Ditto “Grande” (meaning “large” in Italian, according to my friend Google Translate) to order a medium-ish size. Ditto “Venti” for an all-nighter-inducing sized cup. Ok, admittedly the last one does make a smidge more sense than the other two – apparently a “Venti” is, in fact, twenty ounces of fluid. But seriously, for a company that has 20,400 almost identical stores, you’d think they’d adopt a similar level of consistency (if not common sense) when it comes to their sizing practices.

On the other hand, however, they do brew a pretty decent cup of coffee. I also like their little cheese and fruit boxes. And, most importantly, I have learned to love the establishment for their work environment. And by that I mean the environment in which I do MY work. This year’s fall course guide spent about a week and a half gestating in a Starbucks across the street from the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and ever since I have had a certain fondness for the institution’s mass-produced ambiance. I can’t tell if its the “handcrafted” wooden tables, good lighting, endless outlets, or simply the fact that it’s not Meyer, but I’ve found that I’m surprisingly productive working in a place with heavy foot-traffic and lots of people hyped-up on mocha frappucinos. As such, I’ve spent a great deal of time in Tressider’s latest installment, enjoying both the salted carmel lattes and the sublime people watching that comes with them. So, without further ado, I present to you Starbucks by the my numbers*: Continue reading “Starbucks by th…”»