This summer I read a book that shocked me. It made me realize that I, an intelligent female, had put myself in situations where I could have been date-raped. And before I read the book, I never even realized how close I could have been. Now perhaps I'm slightly naive- but honestly, until it happens to you or your friend, who isn't?
I was lucky- I wasn’t one of the unfortunate women who said no and were ignored. But I want to share with everyone “The mindset of justification” that can lead some men into date-rape. Without remorse. Without regret. Without recognizing that they did anything wrong.

The following are sections of the book I read- How Dangerous Men Think. This is from the date rape chapter. (Note- the book was written in Australia, so some of the words are a bit foreign- like lift instead of elevator)

“I remember interviewing a young guy under arrest for the rape of a young woman he had met at a nightclub earlier in the evening. To my surprise he was quite happy to talk about the events of the evening, even to the point of admitting that he had had intercourse with the young woman in question when it was quite clear that she didn't want him to. In an attempt to defend his actions he told me he had been invited back to the woman's place, that he had been buying her drinks during the night and had even paid for the taxi. He added that they had already had sex once that evening and that about an hour later he wanted to do it again, but she wasn't so keen. He told me she "wasn't so keen" because she was yelling and screaming at him to stop and trying to push him off. I asked him what he did at this stage, to which he replied, that he held her down and had sex with her. When I asked if he could see the problem with that he said "mate, I’d been buying her drinks all night; I paid for the bloody taxi; we'd already done it once. Yeah she was saying "no", come on mate, they all say "no" what's the problem?” The “problem” was he had just admitted to committing sexual assault. The "problem" was he ended up going to prison for it. The "problem" was that he didn't think he had done anything wrong"

Walking down the streets of Santiago (or anywhere else in Chile or Argentina) female Stanford students can expect to receive acknowledgement that they are attractice. The person acknowledging their beauty can be a taxi driver, a man walking down the street, construction workers, or anyone else.

The acknowledgement can range from slightly funny but still tasteful (my favorites are the man in Mendoza, Argentina that told a friend and I “you two, you are very pretty,” and the clerk in the Santiago shoe store that told me I had very beautiful eyes); to the still amusing but slightly annoying- whistles, claps, loud kissy noises; and then the worst- the men who just stare at you on the subway and do not look away, or the college aged boys who lean into your personal bubble space when you walk by to say “linda” or beautiful.

We’ve discussed this in our Spanish classes here at the Stanford in Santiago center, and my Spanish teacher strongly defends it as a cultural practice, insisting that it is a compliment to our looks. Yet in our discussions most of the (US) girls in the room indicated that it made them uncomfortable, that it made them feel like they were only a sexual object. I know from my personal experience I’ve avoided walking past certain groups of guys because I don’t want to feel uncomfortable. And yet even listening to all of us describe our feelings of uncomfortableness, and thinking that we’re just sexual objects, my Spanish teacher still maintains that it’s a compliment, and we should take it as such.

Queer Formal, an annual dance held in Winter quarter, was on Friday at the GCC. I didn't attend this year. I have attended in the past, but this year I had no desire to go. I didn't really realize why until an hour before the event was supposed to start. My house threw a large happy hour as a preparty to the formal. The e-flyer for the formal said:

COME GET YOUR FREAK ON AND LEAVE TO DO THE HORIZONTAL HOKEY POKEY WITH SOMEBODY NEW (or old, or blue, or borrowed)!

*drag is highly encouraged*

So naturally the attire of all the people in my lounge en route to the GCC was . . . a strange mix of formal wear and "crazy fun drag wear". Granted, there were a couple of fiercely beautiful queens in formal wear. But the overall feel was very much a freak show feeling to me - complete with straight guys in drag. I still don't know how I feel about that co-optation of an element of queer resistance against a repressive straight society by straight people at a queer event. I'm happy when people fight gender roles, but I'm somewhat offended when it's done by those who don't understand the meaning and history - at a queer event, I suppose.

I guess what got me the most about Queer Formal this year was that it was marketed in a way that turned it from a formal into any other hypersexualized and freaky fun queer party. Don't get me wrong, I love those parties, which is good because queers hold a lot of them. But Viennese Ball was also on Friday.

Viennese Ball, probably the most formal dance event Stanford holds, is a very romantic, fun, and formal affair. But just by the nature of the dance (tuxes and gowns, leads and follows, etc), the entire event is very gendered to fit a straight society, and I know lots of queer people who are hesitant to attend. Two boys (or girls) in tuxes dancing together at this event would stand out much more than at a Queer Formal. I know that it's likely it wouldn't be an issue for same sex or same gender pairings at Viennese Ball, but many people in the LGBTQ community are very nervous about attending these "very straight" events because of past incidents, current climates, etc.

So the only option for a guaranteed queer-friendly formal event at Stanford is Queer Formal . . . or at least it was. Now, as my friends who attended report, "It was just another queer freakshow." Will we get more respect when we can demonstrate to the rest of the world that even we love romance, and getting dressed up to take out a sweetheart? Or will we be constantly doomed to prejudices of freakness or hypersexuality that we ultimately take up as a defensive measure?

I want a real Queer Formal. There is nowhere else to get this. I can wait until Genderfuk, Terra Parties, Queer parties, any weekend night in the Castro for tongue-in-cheek-drag and "horizontal hokey-pokey". Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned.

For the second time in two years, the California legislature voted to legalize marriage between same-sex couples. This time, the bill received more votes and was co-authored by 29 Assemblymembers and 14 Senators, who were led by Assemblyman Mark Leno. A broad coalition of more than 250 civil rights organizations and leaders support the measure, including the NAACP California State Conference, United Farm Workers, Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Chinese for Affirmative Action, California Teachers Association, ACLU, California Nurses Association, Lambda Legal, Anti-Defamation League, California National Organization for Women, California Church Impact, and the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

It's unlikely, but we'll see if Governor Schwarzenegger has the balls to sign it this time (October 14th is his deadline). Props to our courageous legislators.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814
Phone: 916-445-2841
Fax: 916-445-4633

I thought this was pretty cool: all but two of the 2008 Democratic presidential hopefuls appeared one-by-one at an event hosted by the Human Rights Campaign and televised by Logo to discuss their views on issues affecting the gay community. First of all, it's cool that these candidates showed up. Even cooler was that, with the exception of Barack Obama (who seemed to be straining), most of the candidates really seemed to embrace the LGBT community, and the discussions came off as candid and intimate. The chat with Mike Gravel and his wholehearted acceptance of homosexuality was a special treat, simply given the generation he hails from.

Also, I hate to sound promotional, but I keep walking away from watching Hillary Clinton talk feeling really impressed and almost reassured by her command of the issues. LGBT issues seem to be no exception, and I found her ability to speak frankly and with empathy on the politics of homosexuality, in short, moving. Check out this scene with Melissa Etheridge:

For more, watch more of the debate, or read the Washington Post's coverage.

School. Sex. DRAMA. That's the premise of a new homegrown YouTube satire on what it's like to be Black at Stanford. Check out the ingenious pilot episode, posted on May 7th:

Want to see what happens next? Episode 2 is just a click away (Part I and Part II). I hope to have more on the show and the people behind it soon. Stay tuned. :)

Genderfuk.

Do I look like a slut? Uh huh.

This is a compilation of all of the videos we could scrounge together of the night's performances. Enjoy. :)

More event pictures here.

Genderfuk, Stanford's biggest drag show gala is quickly approaching....

Wondered how to do your makeup? How to do your hair? How to dance like Shakira?
Learn from Shakira's mannish sister, Shaqueera, and fill yourself with a second helping of George Xander Morris.

When some people ask themselves "What Would Jesus Do?" in this modern age, some respond, "He would certainly carry big signs that say 'God Hates Fags' to soldiers' funerals!" Others respond, "Jesus would drive to Stanford and tell the students that homosexuals are going to hell!"

The latter response is, in fact, what three older men decided to do today. They stood outside the Spring Career Fair with big signs that read "The sin and the sinner go straight to hell together," and "Warning: Pornicators, Drunkards, Thieves, Adulterers, God Haters, Liars, HOMOSEXUALS - JUDGMENT."

Fortunately, Stanford students wouldn't have any of it. While it would've been preferrable to have the men carried off by campus security, the students made the best of the situation by calling on the men to cite Bible verses to support their claims of God's hate and by cheering on two gay students who made out in front of the demonstrators.

Fortunately, this nice little scene was caught on video (makeout session is at the end).

I was innocently surfing along on my usual internet routine the other day when I stumbled upon a hair-raising HIV/AIDS awareness ad:

The text reads: "Without a condom you’re making love with AIDS. Protect yourself."

The ad was produced by a French NGO called AIDES ("aide" means "support" or "help" in French), which was founded by Daniel Defert in 1984 following the death of his partner, philosopher (and former Berkeley professor) Michel Foucault. AIDES now operates in over 70 small towns and villages within France, and is recognized as one of the most important European HIV/AIDS NGOs.

While I was googling around to find out more about AIDES, I also (not surprisingly) stumbled upon ads from other NGOs which, through YouTube's helpful "related" feature, led me to even more anti-AIDS ads -- some good, some great, some not so amazing. Continue reading this entry if you'd like to to see some of the best, in my humble opinion.

Notably, most of these ads were produced for broadcasting in the First World, where infection rates are low and AIDS is now considered a "manageable" disease. Some of the ads will make you laugh. Some will shock you. Some might even warm your heart. But after watching several ad spots clearly designed to shock and scare, I can't help but wonder, "Is there such a thing as overkill when it comes to AIDS awareness?" (Pun not intended.)

Before there was Paris, there was GXM.
Everyone, buy a sex toy. You'll thank me later.

Share on Facebook using this link.

The perfect Valentine's eCard for that special hippie co-op someone.

This Valentine's Day, why not make that "I love you" a sustainable one? We're not suggesting that you propose to anyone necessarily (that might be a little too sustainable)... but how about greening it up a little bit? Some easy things you can do today to say "Happy Valentine's Day, Valentine" in a greener way:

• Shower together. It saves water, and it's a sexy treat! Just, for the sake of your housemates, make sure you clean up afterwards. You can learn more about greening your sex life here and here.


• Cook 'em a nice, organic dinner. Head on down to Whole Foods on Emerson and pick up all the tasty organic ingredients you need. While you're at it, pick up some organic chocolates, too.


• Offset your loved one's carbon emissions for the next year. A $30 gift certificate is enough for them to purchase a TerraPass for their dorm room, and best of all, you can send these gift certificates via e-mail!


• Rent An Inconvenient Truth and watch it together. If you still haven't seen it, or watching Al Gore talk about global warming is a turn-on for either one of you, this documentary could be the perfect lead-in to foreplay. Or even foreplay itself. (Unfortunately, there are none available from Green as of this writing.)

For more, check here and here.

In other news, Google appears to have dropped the "L" from its name for Valentine's Day. "Googe"? That just sounds gross.

Maybe there was another chocolate-covered strawberry there and somebody ate it.

[Editor's note: This entry includes penises. Read on at your own peril.]

The Cantor Center, otherwise known as the Stanford Museum, has had some pretty awesome exhibits over the years that I've been here. Current exhibits on rotation include "In the American West," a photography exhibit, "Visions of Dharma," an exhibit on contemporary Thai art -- and "Beefcake," an exhibition of the Stanford Library's collection of Dave Martin photography.