Posts Tagged ‘CDC’

Hey, punk, get a job!!

Wednesday, December 19th, 2012

This teacher must be such a n00b.

Despite the antagonistic title, this post is intended to help give Stanford students – especially frosh and sophs – a leg up on finding positions this summer.

You may wonder why I think I can help.  Allow me to rewind to the Kristi of 2009.

In fall 2009, when I entered Stanford, I was not just a n00b.  I was the n00biest of n00bs.  The Grand Poobah of n00bs.  You see, two weeks into my Stanford career, I strutted into Stanford’s Computer Forum Fair with my CV.  And oh, what a CV it was.

Freshman Kristi believed that “MOAR information is ALWAYS better!”, so my whopping six-page CV included every accomplishment ever in my entire life leading chronologically backwards to the “progress card” comments from my early childhood development center.  Which is just a fancy way of saying “preschool.”  Looking back now, it’s pretty comical, but at the time I naively thought, “awww yeah, everybody’s gonna wanna get a piece of this ‘good listener’ who ‘likes to share’!  Get at me, Google!”

Needless to say, I showed up first at the HP booth, where the well-intentioned rep kindly suppressed giggles long enough to provide some editing advice.  I pedaled forlornly back to Stern, trying to keep the metaphorical tail between my legs from getting caught in my bike chain.

Young padawans, I’ve been there and done that so you never have to.  Below I’ve listed my top tips for finding the job that works for you this summer.  I don’t claim to know nearly everything, though, so fellow old-timers are welcome to supplement my advice in the comments!  :)  Hopefully this is a good starting place.  Happy exploring!

Lists are also just generally a good way to keep up with campus events!

Get on lists!

Student groups and departments alike have email lists galore which are a goldmine of opportunities.  The best places to look are minority or special interest groups that are specific to you, like SWE, the Women’s Community CenterSSCLES, the Native American Cultural Center, and SBSE, which often have specific recruitment lists that you can sign up for.  (Forgive me if my examples tend towards techy offerings – it’s what I’m most familiar with!)

Undecided between different departments?  That’s totally fine!  In fact, it might be even better: the more lists you sign up for, the more chances you’ll have at finding your dream summer job.  Not too shabby. (more…)

CIA recruiting on campus today

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

Are you interested in an exciting career committing war crimes?

Central Intelligence Agency

 If you have marketable skills in:

Or providing assistance in any form for an organization actively engaging in the above activities, then the Central Intelligence Agency has plenty of opportunities for you! The CIA has a long history of successful collaboration with Nazis and other top war criminals. And it’s one of the hottest start-up incubators for terrorist groups; training, funding, and arming some of the most well-known terrorists and war criminals in the world. If you want an exciting career disrupting peace and prosperity around the world–and finance isn’t your thing–you can make a real impact at the CIA, literally!

Wednesday at noon, the CDC will be gracefully hosting an information session to learn about job and internship opportunities for students at the CIA. (But be careful, there may be some protesters trying to disrupt the event…)

The Search Virus: What Your Online Activity May Say About Your Viral Load

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

Solve this riddle: Student A sits in Humbio 151: Introduction to Epidemiology (i.e. the study of disease outbreaks), listening to a representative from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) discuss how his organization conducts epidemic surveillance.  Student A’s eyes are drooping slightly due to sleep deprivation, a consequence of her participation in the hallowed “Full Moon on the Quad” celebrations the night before.  Between bleary-eyed blinks, Student A decides to Google “flu shots” and “become effective.”

The question: does this student have the flu?

Okay, let’s be real.  If I didn’t already lose you back at Intro to Epidemiology, you are probably thinking “WTF? That makes no sense” right about now.  You probably think you don’t have enough information to answer that question.  And that’s where Google comes in.

That’s right, it’s the G-word.  The giant Mecca of search engine has the answers again.

Let’s break it down.  Here’s what we sans Google know: Last night at Full Moon, Student A was likely exposed to massive quantities of bacteria, viruses, and a variety of scarring mental images.  Her Google search terms suggest that she only recently received a flu shot (I’ll give you a hint: it was yesterday) and she wants to find out if she is successfully vaccinated yet.  For those of you who might care to know, the flu vaccine takes approximately 2 weeks to kick in (it isn’t lookin’ good for Student A).

But here’s the missing link that the average blog reader doesn’t know but Google does: what is everybody ELSE searching online?

Allow me to introduce you to Google Flu Trends (also known as the hypochondriac’s newest enabler).  The brainchild of Google Insights (which tracks how the volume of specific search terms is distributed geographically, seasonally, etc), Google Flu Trends tracks certain flu-related search terms to estimate when and where flu outbreaks are likely to occur.  So, to solve our riddle, all you need to do is pull up Flu Trends in your browser, zoom in on California, then on San Jose (sorry Palo Alto, you don’t qualify with your puny population) and look at the predicted flu levels based on search terms.

BAM.  The reult?  LOW.  Seeing this, Student A does a victory dance in her chair, much to the displeasure of the CDC representative who is still talking to the class about lime disease outbreaks.

Blissfully ignoring her professor’s warning about applying statistical generalities to the individual, Student A breathes a sigh of relief.  Her poor planning and free-spirited promiscuity are unlikely to result in the flu any time soon (I’m aware all you statistics peeps are groaning in agony as this flawed logic, but roll with me here).

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