Posts Tagged ‘Reality Check’

But I Thought Smart, Caring Citizens Voted: Your 2011 ASSU Reality Check (Part 2)

Wednesday, April 6th, 2011

Read Part 1 here.

Diddy is voting for Fantastic 4teen.

On this eve before the voting commences, this Reality Check wraps up with a review on the referendum that’s got everybody’s gender-neutral underwear in a twist, a call for citizens to action, and an uninspired joke about Mayor McCheese.

Referendum A

Despite a ringing endorsement from Obama himself (Lord, forgive me for linking to The Weekly Standard), ROTC is strug-guh-ling to return to Stanford a 41-year exile. Honestly, it’s amazing how little people mention the history of its banishment. This issue literally almost tore this campus apart back in 1970. Next time you have a moment, track down a 1970 Stanford Quad to see some crazy photos. BackĀ  then, the issue was about publicly supporting the military when they were engaged in a war nobody wanted to be in. Now, it’s a battle of weary ROTC commuters vs. advocates for trans equality. Stanford is weird. (more…)

But I Thought Smart, Caring Citizens Voted: Your 2011 ASSU Reality Check (Part 1)

Monday, April 4th, 2011

In terms of entertaining seasons, ASSU Election season ranks above Duck Season (No, Rabbit Season) but below the first season of Archer. Highlights include Senate who may not know what ASSU stands for, their WordArt-enhanced flyers that have default formatting and slogans that even Soulja Boy would find insipid, the rhetorical paroxysms of The Stanford Review over the wasteful spending of the Band/Daily/all ethnically-based organizations, students that wouldn’t be caught dead taking Intro to CSRE complaining about the racist power of the SOCC, the mystical return of middle school values that make apathy cool again, and best of all, the Obama-esque (both in rhetoric and attainability) promises of the executive slates with the knowledge that the winner has a 50% chance of ending up embroiled in a corruption scandal. Wow, I guess college does prepare you for the real world.

2011 is no exception. This is my guide to: The 2011 Elections for the ASSU, Which Totally Doesn’t Do Anything At All, Right Guys?

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